Poetry Parody
by redfox and megane-chan
Summary: Short skits with the use of famous poems featuring your favorite X-Men: Evolution characters! This fic is for both story and poetry lovers! PG only for certain poems. Chapter 2: Bamf, Bamf, Bamf by: Kurt Wagner
1. The Fire

The Fire  
By: Pyro/ St. John Allerdyce  
Originally by: Redfox and Megane-chan [Redfox's poem]  
  
Disclaimers: This is a Parody of 'The Tiger' by: William Blake. Obviously our name is not: William Blake. Oh yeah… Megane-chan probably wishes she owned Pyro… or the X-Men… whichever she'd be able to get to first… either way I think that that'll take a while… 5 lifetimes give or take a few seconds…   
  
**  
  
St. John Allerdyce was having problems. No not the type of problem you can solve by adding two with two, this was the type of problem one usually got when one was emotionally unstable or at least when one was trying to express one's self but couldn't or can't do it… without burning the house down.  
  
"So the fire said… The fire said… OH SCREW THIS!" Pyro tore off the piece of paper angrily and, with the help of his lighter, burnt it till it was barely specks of dust on the floor, "I hate this… I hate it, I hate it, I hate it."  
  
"Pardon? Didn't catch that last 'I hate it'." Gambit stepped into the living room shuffling his cards as always.   
  
"Oh shut up." Pyro snapped, "I'm in a bad enough mood without YOU bothering me."  
  
"So… what are you making?" Gambit looked over to the pile of dust, "Besides giving Pietro another reason to scratch."  
  
Contrary to popular belief Mr. Pietro Maximoff isn't all THAT perfect. He and Wanda share a dust mite allergy, one that they both inherited from their father. This is also one of Wanda's excuses to hating her daddy dearest. Have you ever known what it feels like to live in a dirty grimy mental institute with a dust mite allergy? Horrible.   
  
"I'm trying to make something…" Pyro explained, "Something that says… FIRE."   
  
To add more of an impact, Pyro made the fire from his lighter blaze in front of Gambit's face when he said it.  
  
Gambit, unfazed, just continued shuffling his cards, "And you can't make this 'something' why…?"  
  
"Because I'm having a hard time expressing myself."  
  
"Didn't think I'd hear that from you."  
  
Pyro glared at his teammate, "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"What I mean is… When you want to express yourself you usually burn something down…" When he got another glare from his frustrated teammate he sighed and continued, "I'm serious. Magneto yelled at you for 3 straight hours last time."  
  
Pyro thought about it and recalled, 'Last time' was yesterday afternoon. He had started feeling giddy after watching himself in X-Men 2 and decided to break into Magneto's study burning everything inside and within a 2-mile radius of it. Luckily that was in the metal dome at Fiji and nothing short of clothing and Magneto's files got burnt/destroyed.  
  
"Actually… I think that's why I'm doing this…" Pyro thought harder, "Yeah… Magneto told me to express myself in a different way and to show it to him… something that didn't have to do with burning things… well… he said burning things in real life…"  
  
"Well then… I think I can help you there." Gambit said putting his cards away and rubbing his hands together, "Let's do something I do best: Steal. This time it'll be ideas."  
  
Pyro looked dubious, "Whatcha' mean?"  
  
"What I mean is…" Gambit explained taking out a copy of William Blake's poems, "Let's use Mr. Blake's idea's shall we?"  
  
"I've read his poems… They have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH FIRE."  
  
"I know, I know… but why don't we… tweak it a bit? So… what do ya say? You make a good poem out of this and Magneto'll let ya off the hook… in theory."  
  
Pyro thought about it for a while, "Fine. Let's do it!"  
  
So they wrote…  
  
**  
  
The Fire  
By: Pyro/ St. John Allerdyce   
  
Fire! Fire! Burning bright,  
In the darkness of the light  
What immortal's hand or thought,  
Could tame thy angry flames?  
  
In the distance of my wake  
No longer calm, all gone awry?  
Burnt out flames, by the rain?  
What the hand dare seize your flames?  
  
And who's shoulder, and who's art,  
Could twist the flames of thy heart?  
And when your flame is in my hand,  
What dread come? And what dread done?  
  
What the fire? What the rain?  
Of what furnace is thy flame?  
What the mantle? What dare clasp,  
The burning pain of your grasp?  
  
When the men throw down their hands,  
And water'd clouds with their tears,  
Will he cry, his defeat to see?  
Did he who win, win helping me?  
  
Fire! Fire! Burning bright  
In the darkness of the light,  
What immortals hand or thought  
Could tame thy angry flames?   
  
**  
  
"Done." Pyro sighed, They'd worked all afternoon to create that parody of 'The Tiger', "Ya sure Magneto can't tell that we used 'The Tiger'?"  
  
Gambit grinned, "Trust me…"  
  
**  
  
"WHAT IS THIS?!" Magneto yelled waving Pyro and Gambit's poem in front of Pyro's face, "YOU THINK I HAVEN'T READ 'THE TIGER' BEFORE?! CLEARLY YOU COPIED THE GENERAL SOUND AND FORMAT OF THAT POEM!!"  
  
Pyro shifted uncomfortably. This was all Gambit's fault. Trust him? Oh he'll trust him alright, trust him with a big punch in the face and a kick in the unmentionables.  
  
"… AND WHERE IS GAMBIT! THIS HAS HIS FINGER PRINTS WRITTEN ALL OVER IT! IF I GET MY HANDS ON HIM I'LL…"  
  
Oh yeah… Gambit was gonna get it alright… get it BAD.  
  
**  
  
Redfox: Hey guys! So… watcha guys think? ^_^ I came up with it during class… I've got others but this'll be it right now.  
  
Maat: I know… She's been doing it for a while now… words keep popping into my mind whenever she does it and I'm getting frustrated… but… *yawn* Tired… *lays down*  
  
Redfox: Um… guys… I mean, reviewers… DOES ANYONE KNOW PYRO'S WHOLE HISTORY? ANYONE? ANYONE? So… yeah… that's it. ^_^ REVIEW! 


	2. Bamf, Bamf, Bamf

Bamf, Bamf, Bamf  
By: Nightcrawler/ Kurt Wagner  
Originally by: Redfox and Megane-chan [Another product of Redfox's demented mind.]  
  
Disclaimers: No own. By the way, this was originally 'Break, Break, Break' by: Alfred Lord Tennyson. From what I know, X-Men is also owned by some old peeps… I... eh... WE ain't very old if you're wonderin'. Exept for Maat but he's a spirit... he dosen't count.  
  
Answers:  
  
darkpoetpuck: Yeah... course I am! That's one of my favorite poems... you'll just have to wait a while that's all...  
  
THANKS FOR REVIEWING!!!!! ^___^  
  
**  
  
Kurt entered the kitchen with a loud 'Bamf!'  
  
"Good Morning Ketty!" Kurt greeted standing behind Kitty, "Vat are you looking at?"  
  
"Oh, hi Kurt." Kitty answered not looking up from her laptop, "I'm looking at my past entries on my diary."  
  
"Can I see?" Kurt asked looking over Kitty shoulder.  
  
Kitty rolled her eyes shielding her laptop's screen from the fuzzy elf's view, "No Kurt. These things are PRIVATE. Though I doubt you know the meaning of that. Popping in on everybody at bad times."  
  
Kurt backed up, his 3-fingered hands next to his face, "Sorry Ketty. Vat's wrong with you today. You seem… irritable."  
  
"Oh… Sorry…" Kitty apologized massaging her forehead and closing her laptop, "I'm just tired I guess…"  
  
Kurt looked at his watch, "It's only 7:00am. How could you be tired?"  
  
"I've been up all night studying for my exams today. I'm dead tired."  
  
"Listen…" Kurt said patting Kitty on the back, "Vhy don't you go to sleep for a while and I'll wake you up before we leave for school? Elf's honor." To prove his point Kurt lifted his right hand near his right ear, just as a scout would.  
  
Kitty smiled, "Thanks Kurt. I need a break."  
  
As Kitty left the room Kurt noticed that she'd left her laptop on the table, "Keety!"  
  
"Yeah Kurt?" Kitty turned around halfway out the door, "What is it?"  
  
Kurt thought fast. He had always wanted to see what Kitty wrote about him in her diary since she first mentioned it to him, which was around… say, a minute or so? But on the other hand, that was wrong and his mama always told him not to look at or touch the things of other people… decisions, decisions…  
  
"Um… Hope you... get enough rest."  
  
Kitty raised her eyebrow skeptically, "Uh… thanks Kurt."  
  
"No problem. Now off you go. Sleep and all… Sweet dreams, good night, Don't let the bed bugs bite… bye now!" Kurt slammed the kitchen door shut, just as Kitty had gotten a fair distance, "Now… let's see…"  
  
Kurt sat down at the table and began to type. It wasn't as easy as it sounded having 3 fingers and all, but he managed.  
  
"Boring… boring… boring…" Kurt flipped through the files one-by-one. It's been 5 minutes since he'd sent Kitty to bed and he hasn't found anything besides Kitty grumbling about life, talking about Lance, her problems, Lance, The X-Men, Lance, "Oh! What's this…?"   
  
Kurt found a particularly interesting poem called 'Break, Break, Break' by someone named, Alfred Lord Tennyson. Next to it he found a file labeled: Kitty's Ideas.  
  
'I've gotten this far… Might as well…" Kurt clicked on it and read down to Idea number 15. Most were ideas for stories on some place called fanfiction.net which Kurt decided to check later, but there was on particular idea he found intriguing: To spoof 'Break, Break, Break.'  
  
"Thank… you… Keety…" Kurt whispered as he rubbed his hands together getting ready to type on a new file on Microsoft Word, "Wait… I think I shouldn't type it here… she'd get suspicious…"  
  
So he wrote it on a piece of paper…  
  
**  
  
Bamf, Bamf, Bamf  
By: Nightcrawler/ Kurt Wagner  
  
Bamf, Bamf, Bamf  
Oh thy brimstone smell  
And I would, what my tail can batter  
The men that threaten me.  
  
O well for the farmers boy,  
That he yells for his sister to play,  
O well for the mutant lad,  
That he sings while on his bed, he lays.  
  
And the dejected years go on  
Till the man of bald came near  
And he reaches a wise hand  
And the sound of his voice is strong.  
  
Bamf, Bamf, Bamf  
At the foot of the stairs is he  
The tender grace of that day is there   
And will always stay with him.  
  
**  
  
"Come on Kurt!" Scott called, "We're gonna be late!"  
  
"Coming!"   
  
Kurt looked at his poem one last time, he decided he'd hand it over for Literature Class, of course, giving credit to Alfred Lord Tennyson. What idiot wouldn't? [*cough*Pyro*cough*Gambit*cough*]  
  
"Kurt!"  
  
"Sorry! I'm coming!"  
  
Kurt dashed out of the kitchen. He needed to ride with Scott today and he couldn't afford to be left behind. So what if his [my] poem was too short and it kinda sucked?  
  
**  
  
"Here I am!"  
  
"Finally Kurt. I thought you'd never get here."  
  
Kurt sat down next to Scott, "Well… the fuzzy man's here and we're ready to go."  
  
Kurt read through his poem again as Scott pulled out of the driveway and started for school but something kept nagging at him at the back of his mind. He pushed it away. It probably wasn't too important I fit was back there right?  
  
Poor Kurt… Had he only known…  
  
**  
  
Redfox: Ah… another chappie over and done with… ^_^ For those of you wondering... Break, Break, Break is just that length... no longer... no shorter...   
  
Maat: *looks over at Pyro* *grumbles angrily*  
  
Pyro: ^_^ FIRE! *is playing with Maat's flamethrower*  
  
Fire: *forms: PLEASE REVIEW!*  
  
Maat: _ Mine... 


End file.
